


August

by AndyLearntoLove



Series: You took Everything from Me [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Diary/Journal, F/M, Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, POV Draco Malfoy, Pining Draco Malfoy, Post-War, Sad Draco Malfoy, Song Lyrics, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29552115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndyLearntoLove/pseuds/AndyLearntoLove
Summary: Writings of Draco Malfoy after a summer spent with Harry Potter and how he wishes things were different.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Series: You took Everything from Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2191788
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	August

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own nor claim to own any of these characters nor do I claim to own the song.
> 
> I slightly altered one line which is indicated with * to better fit the story.
> 
> Enjoy!

  


>   
>  _Salt air, and rust on your door_  
>  _I never needed anything more_  
>  _Whispers of “are you sure?”_  
>  _“Never have I ever before”_

After the battle of Hogwarts everything felt strange. Of course, there were the trials. I would’ve been with my father.

I would’ve been in Azkaban if it weren’t for him.

Him.

That’s what made this summer so different than others. Of course, he knew where to find me. I was sentenced to house arrest with limited magic use and mandated return to Hogwarts on September 1st.

It started innocently, asking questions about me, the war, most significantly why I did not tell ~~the Dark Lord~~ he who must not be named that I knew who he was that day in the Manor. He knew that I knew. Of course I knew.

While he was obsessed with me in sixth year, I have been infatuated with him since first year. Bloody hell, before the sorting ceremony or the Hogwarts express, no it had been when I first saw him in Madame Malkin’s that day in Diagon Alley taking up the least space possible getting new robes. Not because he was who he was but just for him.

With all of this knowledge how could I not know who he was?

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

“By that point I saw the Dark L-“ I coughed knowing I shouldn’t refer to him this way but also I couldn’t say his name “for what he was. Only you could do what you did. We needed you.” I needed you.

Even after he still visited, we began talking, not just about the war but also things like quidditch. More often than not we’d end up laughing about something, what the conversations were about wasn’t as important as what we were becoming.

Things changed over time friendly touches lingered longer, looks were exchanged that were more as well. There was never a label for what we were, not friends and also nothing more. However, it became as natural as breathing.

>   
>  _But I can see us lost in the memory_  
>  _August slipped away into a moment in time_  
>  _‘Cause it was never mine_

The spell ended as August came to an end. We both received our Hogwarts letters; they came while he was visiting the manor. Maybe this is what broke it, maybe it was this that made him realize how much time he really spent there, spent with me. So even though we were both returning to Hogwarts he started acting aloof.

“What is going on? Why are you acting this way?”

“You know this is nothing between us? When we go back, we cannot continue…” he paused. But I understood what he meant. Before he was given the chance to finish, I walked off in the opposite direction.

>   
>  _And I can see us twisted in bedsheets_  
>  _August sipped away like a bottle of wine_  
>  _‘Cause you were never mine_

Do you know how painful it is to watch your crush, your former… lover(?), the love of your life walk around with another, with Weaselette, after spending a summer together? Or maybe I just thought it was a summer together, we never did talk about what else we did when we weren’t together.

Even so, watching them snog, hold hands, whisper to each other. How could he go to her? Someone that has once idolized him? He never wanted that life. I only ever saw him for what he really was when I really looked at him. But with her, he'll always be living in his own shadow.

I could picture myself in her place giving him what he always wanted.

But this is simply impossible because he was never mine.

>   
>  _Your back beneath the sun_  
>  _Wishing I could write my name on it_

Walking around the grounds together, not much else to do since I was on house arrest, he found the lake. Like the Gryffindor he is, he threw off his shirts and shorts and jumped right in without a second thought. I joined in, spurred on by his recklessness.

I have been that spontaneous before him.

And I fear I never will be again.

>   
>  _Will you call when you’re back at school?_  
>  _I remember thinkin’ I had you_

Even though you told me this wouldn’t continue I couldn’t help but hope. Hope you would miss me too.

But of course you don’t.

You have Granger, Weasley, and Weaselette. Few upper year Slytherins returned. Pansy, Blaise, and Goyle did not come back. They were all I had here, in August I thought I would have you to be here for me. Be there for me as I get tormented, just as I once did to others.

I have no means to fight back between the restrictions placed on me by the ministry and having no one to fight for me.

I thought I would have you.

>   
>  _But I can see us lost in the memory_  
>  _August slipped away into a moment in time_  
>  _‘Cause it was never mine_  
>  _And I can see us twisted in bedsheets_  
>  _August sipped away like a bottle of wine_  
>  _‘Cause you were never mine_

The more time passes the more I find myself thinking about us. What we were, what we could have become. I feel as though I switched places with you. I am now watching you as you watched me during sixth year, only my intentions are much different than what yours were. Also, I am not nearly as good at it as you were. How did you do it?

If you were still talking to me I’d ask you.

>   
>  _Back when we were still changin’ for the better_  
>  _Wanting was enough_  
>  _For me it was enough_

It was enough, or at least I thought it was. I got a taste of who you were, as a person, not as a Gryffindor, not as a celebrity, not as the boy who lived (twice) but who you really are beyond and if not in spite of it all.

Someone who hates being the center of attention, someone who enjoys the little things. Someone who even as I had to change my entire belief system who saw that I was trying to change for the better in spite of it all. Someone who also had to change, who had to learn how to live and learn for yourself after seven years of living for something bigger than that.

>   
>  _To live for the hope of it all_  
>  _Cancel plans just in case you’d call_  
>  _And say “meet me inside the hall” **_

Even without Pansy and Blaise here I would sometime be asked to be a part of the study session, mostly by the mid-years and younger, those who did not truly understand what I did here. They would only get brave enough to ask when they were stressed about an exam or a long essay.

Apparently, our summer together made me more approachable. However, I would almost always politely decline their invitations.

I kept my schedule open for you.

For some foolish reason I thought you would come back to me.

>   
>  _So much for summer love and saying “us”_  
>  _‘Cause you weren’t mine to lose_  
>  _You weren’t mine to lose, no_

Summer love, that’s what it felt like to me. Although, of course, I thought it would last at the time.

Why did you have to cut me out completely?

We could have at least acted as acquaintances? What would have been the harm in that? We wouldn’t have talked more than we had in past years, it would be kinder but not noticeably so. Maybe even though I feel as though I lost you, maybe I never had you in the first place.

Sometimes I feel as though it was a dream. Sometimes I feel as though that would hurt less.

>   
>  _But I can see us lost in the memory_  
>  _August slipped away into a moment in time_  
>  _‘Cause it was never mine_  
>  _And I can see us twisted in bedsheets_  
>  _August sipped away like a bottle of wine_  
>  _‘Cause you were never mine_  
>  _‘Cause you were never mine, never mine_

As time drags on here, I feel as though I may start to forget you and learn to live a new. But then I’ll smell treacle tart in the Great Hall. This is usually accompanied by the sight of Weaselette ~~sickeningly~~ feeding you some at the Gryffindor table. My heart aches. Maybe at the end of term I’ll finally be able to move on.

>   
>  _But do you remember_  
>  _Remember when I pulled up and said “Get in the car”_  
>  _And cancelled my plans just in case you called_

Sometimes I think about all the things I want to tell you; think about the things I want to do when we graduate. I sometimes forget that this is all in my head. Because no, you wouldn’t want to know. I have only dreamed about taking you out on dates. I have been learning about cars and moving picture “movies” in my muggle studies class, mandated as per the ministry.

But you knew that.

Watching romantic comedies, “rom coms,” as the muggles call them, I saw scenes where the guy would pull up and pick up the girl can take her on the best dates. I wanted to do this with you. Or even just watch one with you, they soon became my favorite.

I cancel plans for you, not that you would ever know. You never call, or write, or even scream or hex. Sometimes I even think the last would be better than what we have now. At least I could feel something for you again.

Of course, you don’t know any of this. You would only know these things if you stuck around.

>   
>  _Back when I was livin’ for the hope of it all_  
>  _For the hope of it all_  
>  _For the hope of it all_

In a sick way I still live for the hope that I will get this back, that I will get you back. Even as I think of a time after Hogwarts, I think of you being there with me, I hope that you will be with me. That leaving this dreaded place will change something. Or rather, change something back.

I hope that even through all of this that you will return to me Harry

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I have written in a very long time and the first I have posted to the site. I hope you liked it. I hope that format was easy to understand. I am thinking about writing other song fics based around Drarry. Hopefully the other ones will have a happier ending but no promises! Leave a comment to let me know how I did, constructive criticism is welcome.


End file.
